Why are we waiting?

Because WE WANT A BABY.

Oh. Yes.

Further to that: Jam wants a baby because she wants a baby. I want a baby because they're just the best things ever. Have you seen babies? They're small and perfect and watching them turn into kids and then weird teenagers and then adults is pretty much the most fun you can have. And if one more new parent tells me I should get out and see movies and go to parties while I can, I shall SHOUT SHUT UP IN HIS/HER FACE.

Seriously. I know we've discussed this, but I think it's time to go public. YES PARENTING IS HARD WORK. GOT IT. I really do understand. But I've also known for a really long time that I just can't always get my way. I honestly think that a lot of the whingeing coming out of those of our contemporaries who have babies is about the fact that they haven't quite accepted that fact yet. Seriously. We lost a baby five months ago. We've been trying to make another one ever since. Somehow, I think people would have realised that we're not the girls to whom they should be complaining about having to, you know, look after their children.

And breathe.

I don't care if I never see another film. I know you do, Jammy darling. But I have wanted a tiny child of my own since I could walk. And while there will be trouble when I have to go to work without proper sleep (and leaving you and the Bundle behind is going to be a killer) and while I can't say I'm looking forward to drying cloth nappies next winter without the aid of any electrical apparatus, surely it's worth it? I'll spend less time watching DVDs, making frou-frous and reading. Those are pretty much my only leisure pursuits anyway. (How embarrassment.) The other things we do are all in the category of Having Nice People Over To Eat And Play: that can still happen and in fact will simply provide more laps for the Dear Sweetie to sleep on. The boys won't be able to sing Big Band Songs until all hours, but no loss there, let's face it.

Oh, whatever. It's hard. Righto. But the hard thing for us is Just Getting There. I hope we don't lose sight of how awful this year has been when we finally make it. I hope that a house smelling of ammonia doesn't overwrite the memories of blood and semen and piss-tests that just won't grow a second line no matter how hard we look at them. I hope that we remember how much we want a baby when we've got one.