Every month the same old song

I think it's harder for me this month than it's been for a long time. I don't mean the scheduling or the mucous-examining or the inseminations themselves. In fact, I feel entirely isolated from the process --- you two bio-parents have had such inelastic timetables that I have missed out on almost all of that. But I am bone-weary, dear Jammy. I have no idea in my head that it will ever be different from this.

I know I shouldn't complain. We can be lesbians without getting into trouble (even if we can't get onto the same Medicare card). We have food and drink and access to cheap manufactured goods. Neither of us is sick or on the run from justice. I don't want to complain. But I'm scared by the sheer quantity of what is denied me. I don't want everything ever. I don't. But I want you and a baby and to feel less sad. That's a lot, isn't it? Now that I see it written out I understand that it's a lot. Okay. I'll get back to work.