17 days

Our baby is 17 days old. We had previously coined a term, during our barren and bereft years, of 'Smugmum', pronounced "smugm-m", with an unstressed vowel in mum. It was for all the flat white-ordering, off-road pram-weilding, face-beaming mothers who we felt lorded it over the whole world because they had a baby. No, I am not coming to a point that I have become a smugmum. I am completely aware that my pram is annoying in small shops and that not everyone wants to stop and gahhh over my newborn baby in Coles, and give me a free coffee and get the hell out of my way coz my baby is crying. But those thoughts have flitted into my head. So I am putting myself on notice.

Clem is the most beautiful baby of all the babies and he somehow does this with dozens of unsightly milk pimples on his little face. Poor fellah. Actually he looks a bit like a monkey some days and other days he looks like a monk. Specifically one of those monks from Buffy who were minions to the evil God woman, Glory. Sometimes I can see a bigger boy and everything wooshes into the future for a moment and then snaps back.

We love him a lot and are doing an ok job so far, don't think we've inflicted too much damage on him yet. KT is doing it bloody tough with the nipples which are getting attacked and attached every two hours. Sleep is a different thing from what it used to be. But I get it so much easier than her what with not supplying the breasts that I must not even hint at lack of sleep - you will infer this from my typos and poor grammar anyway.

I am an excellent songwriter, turns out. Late at night, when he scwalls and thrashes, I dance with Clem in my arms and sing songs of love and frustration. Clement rhymes with cement, lament and ferment -sort of. I don't remember the rest of those lyrics or the tune but it was pretty rockin. I should record. Smugmum's late night hits and misses.

Oh-oh-oh Clemmy

Did you know your Mummy

Is the baby Whisperer?

Yes she is.

With one touch, you will sleep

Oh so much that not a peep

Will come from you for a while

Then Mumma will wake and smile

And everyone will feel good

You will have some more breast food

Oh- oh-oh Clemmy

Did you know your Mummy... (repeat x 10000, ad lib to pass out)

These are the salad days.

One Week

I get why Hallmark cards are so popular. I get why people believe in God and Angels.

It is difficult to say how this feels. It feels like everything. But to be specific, kt and I saw the water rush out of her and rush out of the beach. It was sucked back and back and up into a mother of a wave. We knew it was coming and so we ran to the highest possible ground and strapped ourselves fast to the nearest tree, lest we were thrown asunder upon impact. It was a little overwhelming, shall we say, when it came. It came fast and big and I drowned twenty times and kept living anyway. And we were both very brave but we were thrown asunder. as I lost my mind a bit through sleep deprivation and excitement. But I found it again, under the tree where i left it.

And you know those Shepherds? The ones who saw the Angels singing in the sky? The ones who were in such awe and amazement that they fell down and cried in the middle of the paddock? Well, I am those Shepherds and my partner kt180 is the Angels from on high. That is how amazing she was giving birth to our boy and how amazing she has been every day and night since then.

i am going to start writing for hallmark for some extra cash.

Baby Born

This is Clement (Clem). Born on Friday the 13th (August).Perfection and Love itself. God picked out an angel especially for us. He is not angelic. He is an actual angel. We are gladder than any words can say. There are not enough medals in the world for my partner.

perhaps the last entry before the baby. perhaps.

We have to go up to the Birth Centre in a minute for an appointment. kt is 38 weeks pregnant which is very very pregnant. There has been a lot of getting ready for the baby and reading about co-sleeping and attachment parenting and sewing of curtains and screen printing them. I'll take photos perhaps, would that be good? They really are pretty. The dads came round for pizza last night and we got my lovely old rabbit doll, whose name is Jemima, and pretended she was the baby coming out the birth canal and doing that great weird turn they do as they slide out. I really needed to see it so using Jemima was great. We also used her to demonstrate how the sling works. I think the baby boy is a bit bigger that Jemima and a lot sturdier, too.

We have the contact lists ready to go. We have clothes and bags and nappies and towels packed.

The other lesbians had a baby boy this week. They are doing well, apparently, and I would like to bake some biscuits to leave on their doorstep (kt's idea really) but we shall see. Every day could be the day. I am excited. Also I had a good cry about the fact that the world will soon change irrevocably soon and would I still get as much attention and love from my girlfriend? She answered "yes" but I think that is only because I was crying. I felt much better about the whole thing and a lot less scared after that cry. Crying is good. I promise to still say that after I have a 4 month old who never stops.

Feeling the pinch

Hi guys,

In case anyone was wondering about the progress I thought I'd blog for a minute while my darling girlfriend finishes making the breast pads she started this afternoon. Home made reusable breast pads from old tshirts and older washers that my mum guv us.

Obviously kt180 is off work now and her whole world has changed. The house is becoming more babyfied every day. There are two changing stations -upstairs and down, and the biggest washing machine you ever saw in the biggest and nicest laundry you ever dreamed of. kt's parents have been round a bit, sewing covers for the change mats, washing windows, painting bits of wall, fixing things, drinking wine, and I even managed to get my old lady round one afternoon this week to get in on some of the action. We sat and folded a mountainous pile of onesies and tiny singlets.

kt is large as a tub and her skin is so stretched across her belly that it aches and stings and reddens and if I forget to send a text message on her behalf and she finds out she stands in the kitchen and yells and yells and yells.

She is 36 and a half weeks pregnant. If she went into labour now, the birth centre would accept her. The baby is head down, has been for some time now, and engaged. Meaning his head is right on the cervix, ready to go go go. It's all a bit bloody amazing and scary and full on and every time I make an entry in my diary now I wonder if I'll have to cancel it at the time.

We went to a lovely, practical birth class at the hospital earlier and I think i mentioned it before and how we met the nice lesbians who were a few weeks ahead of us. They have not had their baby yet. They have stayed a little in contact with us and have burned us a copy of a meditation cd that is really calming and empowering and has put us in a pretty groovy headspace generally for the birth. I do honestly believe it will be ok. Hard, but good.

On Monday night we paid a woman $180 to pinch my girlfriend. We went to another birth method class, wanting a calm birth-type hippy experience to put in the "tool bag" and the woman pinched her, hard, several times on the inner thigh for, like, a minute and a half, and then two minutes at a time, telling her to "meet the pain with your breath, breathe all the way in, in, in, take what you need, and nowww breathe it out and downnnn, washhhhh it alllll the wayyyyy downnnnnn, dowwnnnnnn, keeep going, it's stilllll there, washhhhhh it downnnnnn, ok it's passing and it's gone.' kt was so frikken angry, that woman is lucky she did not get screamed at and head butted. It was a total rort, looking back on it, but at the time you just sort of went along with it, thinking about how big of a deal the birth of your first baby was going to be and how you needed this heads up and any damn help you could possibly get.

But it was a big fat rort and we paid $180 to look at a very interesting book with good birth canal images and get kt well and truly pinched.

I am secretly very nervous about coping with watching her in pain because I have this nerve thing in my bum cheeks which goes psycho buzzy like electric pulses whenever I see her in pain or think about someone cutting open a vein or getting a needle or something painful. And I might just totally freak out and not be able to be with the fact that she is really, really hurting. That is a bit of a fear, but also I have been known to be very brave in the past so praps I will be again.

nearly there

A lot of folks say they can't see the baby in this picture but they are blind. This scan was taken on monday (34 weeks). We learned that the placenta has moved away from the cervix (the car is no longer parked in front of the garage, as someone said. Lucky we hand-painted that sign on the door: NO PARKING DAY OR NIGHT-PLEASE. IN USE 24 HOURS. BABY DUE ANY DAY). So Bless the Universe, kt can try for a vaginal birth. She is starting to feel scared and I do not blame her. Although I feel it will go very well, I know I would be swooning with nerves at this point. In fact, I had a little swoon the other night. We were eating dinner in bed and suddenly kt jmped up in pain and started leaning on the cot and swaying. The room tipped right up like a rolling boat and then straight back down again. I looked at her, said "breathe", and kept shovelling food into my gob, thinking it might be the last time I eat for a while and I was gonna need it. I am like a dog that way. Each meal could be the last for a while...and now that instict has multiplied a million-fold. Needless to say, my girlfriend did not go into labour and I have had several meals since then.

I don't want to bleat on about it because it's kind of obvious, we're having a baby, we're worried about money. Today is kt180's last day of work. She is very happy-scared about that.She is far more articulate than that about it. I am really hoping to hit the big time very soon because the financial reality is becoming a bit of an issue. But we will not be stopped. never ever. See the last several years of our life if you want proof.

check yez later. baby could come any day now. He already weighs 2.8kg which is more that the books say by about 600g. excited.

33 and a half weeks

It's been a very busy time. Part of the process for me has been getting money together so that my Mrs can leave work and we don't go to the poor house. We are really hoping that she gets a few weeks off before the kid comes. Every shop assistant and passer-by seems to feel that they owe it to kt180 to tell her that she could go any day now, that she has a big baby and that she could be having twins. Yeah...they know. In any case we're putting the birth centre on speed dial.

There are some brown discharge stories but I don't wanna say anything about kt that's too private. (ha!)

All is well.

Rock and Roll

uluru by dayDear Blog,

We spent Saturday night at a birth class. There were 5 pregnancies there, 5 partners and one Grandmother-to-be. Of the 5 partners, two were women. Of the two women, I was one. It was very odd when the midwife said at the beginning "OK, men on one side and women on the other." She quickly realised her mathematical and political error and amended most of the rest of the night to referring to the "partner" and not the "man" .

In the video, we saw German women in labour, clutching ropes and husbands. They looked like they were in a lot of pain. I have been very proud of my darling and her very big belly. (It really is big. This photo is two weeks old. It has got bigger). I still am proud, but Jesus, i was a bit worried about her for a bit there. I did that thing, watching the panting, crying germans, when you giggle a lot because you are so terrified. I looked around the room. Other people looked serene and interested. I looked at the pregnant bellies. All of the babies are due weeks sooner than ours. All of the bellies were smaller than KT's. I was even prouder/scareder.

She can almost not get into the shower recess. It only opens so wide. Clambering out of the car, she then closed the door on her belly, not realising it stuck out quite that far.

It was certainly a good and practical class and I feel much more in the spirit of things having done it. I have a good sense now of all the stages of labour, what to do when KT's water breaks (clean it up), when to go in to the Birth Centre ( when the contractions are five minutes apart and/or she can't stand the pain any more or I can't stand the screaming) and what pain relief she can get there (a bath). Also we got a bit friendly with the other lesbians and maybe if one of us is feeling brave we might even call them. Coz they seemed really nice and pretty together. Which could mean they made an attractive couple or that they were relatively grounded and emotionally stable.

There is an adventure ahead, it seems. And that's all before the little tacker comes home.

Soon this will be a parenting blog and not a trying to conceive blog or a pregnancy blog. Parenting seems so grown-up.

Thirty Weeks

Just spent weekend in the country not really doing anything except rubbing KT's delicious belly. I am thinking a lot about the Olgas and Uluru when I look at it. She is thirty weeks. I have even started to photograph it in different lights, much like the rock. I told daddy M that she looked like Uluru and he said I had to respect the indigenous culture and not climb her. We are getting better at being funny with each other which is great for our bonding and understanding. Things are going fabulously with M and J, actually.

Also a whale, I am thinking of.I have to resist saying "my big girl" when I see her as it upsets her enormously. With the emphasis on enormous. Have thought, therefore, that Jonah would be a greeeaaat name for our baby boydee.

You gotta ac-cent Chuwaitthepositive.

Indie Film fodder

Now it just feels like gloating. My GF is bloating and I am gloating.

Watched Away We Go last night on video, being a huge Allison Janney fan and also really liking that nice young fellow John Krasinski when I saw him in It's Complicated, which I bloody LOVED.
Plus it is a baby-on-the-way film. I noticed they never talked to the baby or engaged with her. The pregnant character was about as pregnant as KT is and not once did they have a conversation interrupted by either "Baby's kicking ohmygod!" or "Baby hasn't kicked in ages, ohmygod!" Good film, but. Melanie Lynskey is in it for a bit -another old fave- and her character is a bit sad and then it is revealed that she had her fifth miscarriage last Thursday. I think a fifth misscarriage would drive me to amateur pole dancing, too. It still touches a real nerve, that story for other folks. It's beautifully dealt with in this movie.

I can't believe at all how far we've come. We changed biological mothers. We changed fathers. Would a natural disaster stop us? I have no steady income and my partnerr is leaving work in nine weeks! Baby on the way! Can't wait! This is the best story ever.

viable pregnancy-baby

we got ourselves a baby in there, swimming around and kicking. 24 weeks and all's well. Personally I am drinking like a fish for the last few months in the lead up to my own pre-coception health kick. We are also getting rid of a large amount of stuff so there is room for the bouncing baby. The pregnancy is going well. One thing we learned at the last scan was that the palcenta was over the cervix -which is dodgy for the birth and means if it doesn't move, kt has to have a caesar salad and she is a vegetarian apart from some fish oil of a morning. But usually they move and by all accounts the baby has kicked it out of the way.
this is a terrible post and i'm not fishing.

BoyBandBaby

Gotta heaps lovely friend, B with a boy kid, W. B is up the duff with another boy. We got a boy nearly. Gonna start up a boy band.

22 weeks. Picked out a name and all 4 parents like it. Tick.

Putting a small shed in the backyard to store quite a lot of our stuff.

People often ask "have you got his room ready yet? " ahhhhh...he doesn't have a room. Does he need one?

He moves and wriggles and kicks a lot, which we love, and only adds to my dream of him being in a boyband.

Livin' on a Prayer

My friend B came round with her little boy W today. I minded W while his mother went off to audition for Homo and Gay. Top show. W is about two and a half and his mother has taught him to sing the theme song from The Muppet Show. It is a classy act and she is a classy broad. Looking after this amazing, joyful and obedient little boy made me very much look forward to raising my own one, and teaching him the same song and many others like it. I hope my son likes Sesame Street but I will disinherit him if he doesn't like The Muppet Show.

Oh, and BTW guys, we are at the HALFWAY THERE point. The baby is moving all the time. Well, continually, not continuously. I teach grammar at times and I like to put those two words in context.

Anyway, has anyone read much about The Continuum Concept? It's a 1960s parenting theory. I get that no matter how you raise your kid you are somehow going to put your mother's or your sister's or your mother-in-law's nose out of joint. Like, that is a total given, right? Like, even though you don't expect them to adhere too pedantically to your system and so it will hardly affect them at all...they will still take the way you parent personally. Weird.
SOO...in light of that, I figure we may as well piss as many people off as possible in the biggest freakin way possible by talking about and exploring the notion of attachment parenting.

Not really. I mean, yes, exploration of attachment parenting, but not really in such a beligerent way. I have beligerent moments but they are usually healthily exorcised and expressed on the M5 where they belong.

I like what I have read so far about The Continuum Concept and attachment parenting. I think it would be pretty hard not to everput the baby down because you might just have to put it's a great place to start and I reckon with four parents and many other fam members and sundries we could keep that baby in a sling and in arms relatively a lot. Plus the other thing you do id demand feed, which I am totally all about and so is the Mrs.

The Daddies, M and J are not mentioned a lot in this blog to protect their privacy, and because they don' t even know about it, so it's not fair to talk about them too much behind their backs. We see them about once a week and a real and lovely bond has grown in the year and four months that we have known them. They have their own very busy and very social lives and are very much looking forward to a son. So far discussions and arrangements have gone well, and we have agreed on the legal and parenting arangements with much discussion. It hasn't alsways been easy, but we are getting better at communicating, the four of us. And KT and I are getting super good at not sweating the small stuff.

We have not had the boys to ourselves since we learned the sex of our baby. When we do, we will talk about names. I'm excited about that. And a bit nervous.

The Importance of Being Ernest

19 weeks. My lovely girlfriend is as happy as I have ever known her to be. Even on a rainy day, even when work is a bitch. And by happy I mean round.

But that's not what you want to hear. You want to hear about yesterday's scan. The baby is moving and growing and healthy and correctly shaped without a cleft palate and with a penis. So OM fucken G we are having a boy. Oh, boy.

I feel terribly excited because despite my open-minded, free-thinking, non-identity pushing, anti gender stereoptyping, hippy-femmo-lezo-zen-tofu loving, bong-smoking pretensions, I still can only properly relate to a person when I know what sex she or he is. There it is. I can't even grammatically refer to him or her without being incorrect ("them/they") or long-winded and awkward ("him or her"), or sexist ("him"). Now, I have often been grammatically incorrect, long-winded and awkward and sexist...but surely one must, in this instance, realise the importance of the -albeit borrowed-identity that gender lends one?

I was reading Oscar Wilde last night. He says"one" a lot, in that way. I find it hilarious.

Musical people are so absurdly unreasonable. They always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be absolutely deaf.

I am excited and delighted to think there is a boy in there and he will be our son. And he may well be terribly loud and boistrous but hopefully he will read Oscar Wilde a bit, too.

Either way we are going to train him to give us good cuddles by making a velcro suit that my mother thought up and sticking him to us.

We are also seriously researching slings.

18 weeks

Hi. There is still a baby in my girlfriend's belly and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger every day. Which rocks. KT is now 18 weeks pregnant and starting to feel gentle prods and pokes from the inside. Last night I went to sleep with my hand on the round bump and dreamt I could feel the movement from the outside. Or did it happen? I will never know. Then I dreamt on... From the various prods I could clearly see if it was a hand or a foot pressing outwards through the skin. Like in Alien. Then the baby pressed its little face against the inside and I could see the shape of it. Then the face got clearer and clearer and I freaked out a little bit.

The next scan is in about 5 days. If the universe wills it, we will learn about the male-female status. So the baby had better enjoy it last few days of having a pure, gender-free, identity-free existence. We need to get naming, so this will help. KT has a boy's name that comes from her family which just needs to be signed off by M and J, the daddies. She wore me down on it over the course of the last two years, so I'm in.

We have not discussed names with other people because once upon a time I was pregnant with our red herring Donor Dad and we (just him and me) thought Grover was a groovy name, like Grover Cleveland, the jazz muso. And then because of some little known kids show from the 70s, everyone was totally mean to us about it and really pleasant evenings with friends were unexpectedly ruined. People are cool with naming their child after Oscar the Grouch and Felix the Cat and Milo and Otis and Winnie the Pooh and Jack and the Beanstalk and Oliver Twist. You never hear "Oh don't call your son Oliver! He'll be teased at school because everyone will think of the little Dickensian orphan boy and start singing "who will buy?" whenever he walks past." No, because some parents pushed through on the grounds that the kid would have his own personality eventually and the connotations would fade and die. And now all you think is "Oh for christ's sake, not another fucking Oliver." I am, at times, a teacher of children, so I know how many Olivers there are. And, Hollies and Mollies and Tom Tom Toms. Not many Pollies, though. But then people would keep telling her to put the kettle on, so that's probably why. You have to be a bit of a pioneer with names, surely. Anyway, I don't want to use Grover --even though it is a fabulous, gorgeous name and I LOOOVE the friendly, furry little blue monster at the end of this book --so don't start in, I'm just making a point about not discussing names.

So we probably have a boy name; we have a couple of girl names on the list, and we are almost ready to buy a big sexy washing machine for nappies. The washing machine will be called a Speed Queen. Yep. You can do lines off the top of it. Which you need when you have a first baby and you're using cloth nappies. We don't have the nappies yet. We are researching nappies.

We are also saving money because we are going to lose our main income when KT leaves her job in July. No paid maternity leave. I am doing some work and things are good right now, but the sporadic nature of my freelance stuff means we are instigating a fabulous saving plan so we can buy the nappies and also pay rent till KT satrts taking in some editing jobs at home. Bit like taking in washing. She does the ironing & mending for a bit extra.

TRIMESTER TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go on, cry.

What you're looking at here is a PERFECT 12 week foetus. Yesterday's scan was the nuchal one which for us was mostly about was there going to still be a heartbeat (apart from mine that was beating for Australia) and was the baby going to be growing at the right rate. The nuchal news tells you about chances of Down's and possibly some other syndromes, which for us was obviously important as we would need all the prep we could get on that kind of baby, but we were honestly just so wanting it to be alive (with no "real" reason to have been thinking otherwiswe.)

It even has a brain with two hemispheres. It is a very pretty baby, I think, from the profile, despite the face that you can see its brain. I wondered for a split second "is it ok that the baby is transparent?". Then I realised that so was my darling GF KT and she was fine. The magic of it all. Doctor very happy. Dads very happy. Mums very happy and relieved. Grannies pissing selves. We know we are not home and hosed but we realise now that we never actually will be ever again home or hosed.

Baby does have arms and legs, despite appearances. Sex tbc. Again not important at all to me as I am such a free thinking liberal minded groovy unlabelled yummy mummy to be. But important to daddies and helpful with naming by committee so we might know in a couple months.

Bonza, eh?

gay your life must be

there is a kookaburra living in the park opposit the house. this is not it . this is a stuffed one i saw at the museum. i think kookaburras are my favorite bird. i like really obvious things like mozart is my favorite composer and picasso is my favorite painter.

anyway the kookaburra is young and alone and living on the street in the inner city. he doesn't know how to laugh properly. we hear him every morning doing that run-up laugh they do, but it never starts up, fully fledging, so to speak into the hearty cackle. KT thinks it needs to hear others to copy. She thinks we could get a recording of one and play it. I did actually take a photo of it but it was not very good. Maybe it's depressed.

All well on the preggas front.. As of yesterday KT is more pregnant than I ever was. We are glad to be passed that milestone and looking forward to the eleven week mark in a couple days and discussing names with the boys. Wish us luck with that.

Twenty Ten

My Mrs is Ten Weeks up the duff today. It's still in there and we even saw the little tacker. ( I almost said blighter which is not the best of choices). We saw the now "foetus" a week and two days ago and it has a heartbeat. KT and the two Dads were there too so it was really crowded in the little dark room and therefore didn't take much for me to flood it with tears. I had been a wee anxsty in the lead up let me let you. My history of scans is appalling, bloody awful. It is riddled with comments like No, that's not an eight week foetus, more like six and I'm sure it's just at a funny angle; sometimes they get camera-shy and I might just see if the Doctor is available to come talk to you and I can't really see the hearbeat.

So when we saw the heartbeat straight away it was a good start. But what I wanted to hear was That is for shizzle an eight week foetus. And what we got was 8 weeks 5 days. So I bathed the room and everyone in it with my relief. I know it's only rock and roll, but I like it.

Last night I went to my twenty year school reunion. I told everyone of my impending motherhood. That was huge fun. People were totally excited and gorgeous. Lot of babies born of that year. An average of eleven per old-girl. Quite a few miscarriages among them too. Hadn't seen most of the women there for twenty years. Everyone said I was exactly the same. I denied it.

So now we crawl to the second tri and see if we can score a field goal. I shouldn't do sport talk, I know.

7 weeks

Everything's going well. The progesterone levels were in the zone of early pregnancy and since then there have been many signs and symptoms to support the theory that we have a good pregnancy on our hands. The boobs thing is pretty cool, for a start. But it is somewhat undercut by the fact that KT is running at about four hundred and thirty degrees, due to the progesterone, which means that on a warm day I cannot touch my girlfriend. Really cannot touch her. She's like a super hero and her thing is heat. Hotgirl, they call her.

-"Help, my bed is comfortable, my sheets are fresh and cool and I'm nearly falling asleep!! Who can I turn to? Who will save me?"

-"Never Fear, Hotgirl is here to save the day and/or night. Just stay calm and still while I snuggle up to you and set you and the whole bed alight. That should keep you awake."

-"Thanks Hotgirl. Say, can you iron my shirt for tomorrow with your bare hands?"

-"No I'm too tired to move. My powers are confined to snuggling, radiating heat and getting rid of any pesky foodstuffs around the house or suburb."

and scene.

pregnant

KT180 is pregnant. We have managed to get her over the line. Six weeks in at the moment. The crying that came out of me when I saw the two lines. What a blissful christmas we had. We did another test on christmas morning just to be sure. It was also positive.

During the last week which has included telling family and a few close friends and a lovely NYE, KT has had some pain and one proper episode of dark (not fresh) spotting, and several follow up episodes of dark brown (old) blood (tiny amounts) in the mucus. We have had several heart attacks and went up to the hospital and got her bloods tested. Later that day we got the hCG levels back and they were fine. This is the pregnancy hormone and she had 25,000 somethings of it-which was consistent with a 6 week preg. But we went on the morning of NYE and nobody was working and we couldn't get a scan and although we also got the progesterone tested it is now the 3rd of january and we still don't know her levels. Progesterone is damn important and if the levels are low then we could maybe do something about it but not if we wait much longer and, like, we got the blood taken last year.

So we have confined ourselves to bedrest (important for the partner to rest a lot too) and videos. A friend came to visit the slightly nervous mothers-to-be yesterday and reccommended we hire out Junebug. Amy Adams is pregnant throughout the film. How appropriate we thought. [spoiler alert] The baby dies. KT would not let me ring this friend and tell her off. Come on!

Anyway we might hear from the hospital tomorrow and get the levels and in the meantime we are pretty good as gold girls. Plus when she sits up she is nauseated. I want her to vomit with it.