I.D

Oh BTW here is a photo of me on my recent jaunt to Windy Wellington in case you wanted to know what I looked like now that I am not being so annonymous.

You can even see KT in the reflection of my mirrored shades. She is wearing a sexy mask in preparation for my Oscar nomination, so her identity remains a secret.

It will just be an honour to get a nod, it's not about the gong.

Blog on, aussie, blog on

One of the things about blogs is that people end up perhaps reading them and then you think "shit, people are reading this, I have to alter what I am saying and become heaps self conscious " and I think that's a real shame. I'm not worried about offending anyone, but I would like the opportunity to bitch meanly about people without them being mean back to me. Also one of the things that happens is the writer talks about the blog in this way which is also a bit shit. But you'll have to suck it and you know full well you do it yourself.

COMMUNITY SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

The blog Piss on a stick is changing course. No longer will KT180 be an official contributer. I am taking over this blog. She is going to start her own blog, god love her, and keep her annonymity properly cos I am kind of bad at keeping mine and that shouldn't have to affect her/him. I do not know what she intends to do when I become very famous in the next forty years and she is on my arm at the Oscars. We could make her a mask. Like, a sexy one.

I have always been the boss of the blog in my heart so there will be no real major shifts excepts for spelling and punctuation and grammar and sense.

But the wit will remain. Ans the wisdom. And the pith. And the typos.

So rest assured, even though you are much funnier than me, dear reader, that some super reading is coming your way.

This photo is an old photo of my mother. She was really beautiful when she was young. She is still beautiful now, but in an old, hobbledly way. There is no link to the photo and the blog entry. It is the only photo I have on my computer at the moment because even though I just went to New Zealand ( and picked up the accent in 5 days, bro) I havent taken any photos off my camera in ages and this is the photo we are using as the invitation to my mother's 70th birthday party. But you can't come to the party because we have too many people already because my mother is extremely popular and our budget is extremely limited.

No one is pregnant yet. Or even inseminating. I have been consulting the runes, again. They have told me to be patient. I nearly swallowed the remaining bagfull of stones and wandered into the river. Yes, the river.

We are waiting on:

KT's cycle to be slightly more progesterone-ridden

and/or The Will of Heaven

depending on if you are listening to the Acupuncturist or the unswallowed runes.

health food

Hi. I went to see the acupuncturist for the first time in, like, a month. I had been, as I said earlier, I bit of a pig in terms of beer and choc-top icecreams. Oh my god I love beer and choc-top icecreams. Anyway, without having to try real hard, the lovely woman made me feel really damn guilty. And before you say anything I tried to justify it by bunging on the psychological need to kick back or act out or fuck up because I am not , in actual fact, in pre-conception, the other one is. And so if I'm not going to even think about trying to get get preggas till, like, KT has got and stayed pregs and then the little tyke is about 9 months old...well then it's all beer and choc tops for me. Isn't it?

But then she asked me about my emo health and my energy and my stools. And like any bad stool I didn't have a leg to stand on.

my own health

is going doon the toilet day by day. I am drinking like a fish and eating like a chippy.

I am not focusing on getting pregnant so I am wondering why I should keep spending lots of money on fertility treatment and macrobiotic food when I am broke as. I cancelled this fortnight's acupuncture, went to our little choir group and drank vodka. My cycle is not appreciating any of this but my bank account is and my mind is. Fuck it all.

I canna wait till we get a baby out of KT. I am going to squeeze it a lot.

My scottish accent in this morning's audition was excellent. If I get the role I will eat haggis out of method madness.

I did yoga this morning. First in months and months. Feels grand.
We have a plan to hang out with our new dads on the weekend. There is a bit of sperm motility business to discuss but mainly just a hang out session. I want to feel safe and comfortable with them and that is going to take a little time and a little effort. I am studying the scottish accent a little, not because of the laddie daddie but for some short play I am hoping to be in soon, but it really is helping in terms of him, too. His accent is borderline impenatrable - i love it - and it is nothing like the scottish accent I've always bunged on. His accent is so...so...
so chunky you could carve it. Sorry. i couldne leave it there, it was begging to be said. He's from Glasgow.

KT180 is getting through this current warm up cycle -it's proving to be a good one in terms of optimum fertility health and I'm sure the tiny bit of chocolate she ate during an Eight Hour Shakespeare Play on the weekend was entirely necessary and also incredibly helpful. And then after that, god help us, we will get some jizz up her.

YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.!

And then there were 4

We had a lovely breakfast with the lads and cemented our plan to have babies with them. It feels wonderful and strange. Somehow, some of the time, now that there are actual fathers- to- be involved, and two of them at that, I feel all territorial and want me and KT180 to be the only two parents. It is an unworthy thought that I don't pay much heed to, obviously. It's just there, selfishly popping up sometimes. I mean obviously it is a really idiotic thought but also emotionally it is unhelpful. It's just I'm getting used to these guys and we hardly know them. Which is freaky, you have to admit.

They are off to do all the requestite (help me to spell that someone) tests with their jizz and blood and then we'll talk more, hopefully about how much contact there is with a brand-newborn baby who is breast feeding, so no-one feels there was anything left nsaid, and then we'll intriduce them to our families.

A decision

We're going with the original and v. keen to be dads lads. I spoke to the lovely dark horse finally and he and his co-horse are intersted in parenting but not ready for at least a year. Or 18 months. You might say with a rye-bread smile that kt180 and I are ready now. We had a nice chat and wished each other well. I'm pretty much on par with this as a reality now, as in equal to it and not so much with the railing against it. Timing is someting we gotta trust. But it's taken some extra Ekhart Tolle reading to get there.

The lads (one is scottish so i think I'm allowed to call thm that) are having us over on Sunday and It feels right to rock up ready to do business, rather than stop parenting discussions with them in their tracks just coz someone we got a bit superficially excited about was on the cards. It was always going to be a bit weord and confusing, finding someone to father our children and spread the net so wide. We spoke to two other men a little before Christmas, and things might have gone it either of those directions, too, if we'd headed further down those paths, but we never. We went this way. Hard to say what's the best thing but we liked the way the lads were ever so happy about meeting us (they initiated contact from our calling all cars message in a gay-parenting newsletter and they want a family a lot). Also they are happy, positive, flexible and smart and ready to go now. Nitty gritty stuff like parenting styles and finances have been touched upon and all seems easy enough to negotiate so far. There is much compatibility.Things will be discussed further on Sunday.

So sperm is becoming available, pending the sunday confirmation, and hopefully kt180 is getting back on track after a long holiday to producing eggs. She has been strict as bro with her elimination diet and having a lot of acupuncture and magic tablets, and things are looking better. Still a bit of stuff to happen but we'll see in a week or so.

bye for now.